Shada Islam reflects on the privilege of mourning her mother amid global grief

Shada Islam mourns the death of her mother, Abeeda Qamar ul Islam, who passed away in the early hours of June 14 in Karachi. In her heartfelt reflection, Islam emphasizes the privilege of being able to grieve, contrasting her experience with those affected by ongoing conflicts in regions like Gaza and Sudan, where mourning is often denied.

The Impact of Grief on Personal Lives

Grief is a universal experience, yet the ability to mourn is not equally accessible. Islam recalls the early-morning phone call that changed her life forever: her mother was struggling to breathe in the hospital. Despite their plans to spend time together, she arrived too late to say goodbye.

“I shouldn’t have listened,” Islam reflects on her mother’s insistence that she continue with her life in Belgium. The emotional toll of loss weighs heavily, especially for those who have experienced the death of loved ones in difficult circumstances. As Islam navigates her grief, she recognizes the deep connections fostered through shared memories and communal mourning.

The Shared Experience of Loss

In the days following her mother’s death, Islam’s family and friends gathered to celebrate her mother’s life. Messages of condolence poured in from around the world, revealing stories of kindness and compassion that defined Abeeda's character. These recollections allowed Islam to rediscover her mother through the eyes of others.

“I spoke about her laughter, her compassion, her elegance,” Islam shared during a remembrance gathering. This communal aspect of mourning is a stark contrast to the experiences of many around the globe who suffer loss without the opportunity to grieve.

Understanding the Privilege of Mourning

Islam highlights the stark differences in how grief is experienced across the world. While she has the space to remember her mother and honor her life, countless others are deprived of that chance due to violence and instability. She notes that, “grieving requires time, physical safety, community and, ultimately, hope.”

In her reflection, Islam acknowledges that her mother’s generation understood the importance of mourning, having lived through significant historical traumas. This awareness fostered a sense of solidarity with those suffering in conflict zones, as they, too, long for the ability to honor their dead.

• Islam's mother passed away on June 14.
• The family gathered to remember her life.
• Grief is experienced differently across the world.

Through her personal narrative, Shada Islam not only pays tribute to her mother but also sheds light on the broader implications of grief in a world where many are denied the chance to mourn.